One of my best friends in high school told me to always give a range when communicating when you’ll be somewhere.  For example, don’t say “I’ll be there at 8:00”. Rather, say you’ll be there between 8 and 8:30. Why? His reasoning was that if you subsequently showed up at 8:45, you were only 15 minutes late.  I’m not sure how that worked out for him, but for me, late was always late.

I’m telling you this because it’s in the same spirit as “I’m on my way”.  I’m sure the scenario is familiar. You agree with you teenager on a time that he will be home. The actual time is irrelevant. Part of the arrangement is that he will call or more likely text when he is on his way, so that you will have a general idea when he’ll be home and won’t worry.

Of course, “I’m on my way” can have vastly different meanings to kids and parents.  To a kid, “I’m on my way” could mean anything from “gee I should get going soon”, to “I better charge my phone before I leave so I have tunes and GPS to get me home”, to “I wonder if I have enough gas to get home”.

To parents, on the other hand, “I’m on my way” means “I’m on my way and will be home soon”. What else could it mean?

My recommendation for a better relationship with your teen is to have a shared definition of this often used phrase. Something along the lines of “I’m on my way” means a) I’m in the car, b) the motor is running c) all passengers are on board, d) there are no planned stops along the way, and e) barring an emergency, I’ll be home on time.