“I’m sleeping at a friend’s house.” It’s the perfect cover story. And you never expect to get caught. How could you? Your parents aren’t that smart, and even if they are, it would take a little heavy lifting on their part to catch you.

Your motive is simple. You want to stay out all night and do whatever you want. But of course your parents would never agree to this. Enter the cover story. It goes something like this (of course there are many variations):

You tell your parents you’re sleeping at your friend’s house, and of course your friend tells his parents he’s sleeping at your house. To improve your chances for success, pick a friend whose parents live in a different neighborhood and travel in different social circles. What are the chances that they would talk and compare notes? You’re more likely to get struck by lightning, which according to the National Weather Service is about one chance in a million.

So in the scheme of things, you’re still feeling pretty good that your chances of getting caught if your parents meet somewhere are slim to none.

Enter slim.

What are the chances your mother would shop at another store in another neighborhood? Normally? 0%. Store coupon? 100%.

You see, your mom is a real bargain hunter, and she loves coupons, more so than most people. According to Inmar‘s 2014 Coupon Trends report, Americans were offered an average of $1,617 in coupons per person in 2013, but they only cashed in about $11.60, or less than 1%.  Not your mom.  She saves hundreds on coupons each year.  She’ll go to great lengths to use a coupon and save money. She’ll even bring her own frozen, uncooked turkey when she visits for Thanksgiving, from another city, clear across the country, even if it means stowing it in the overhead compartment in a bowling ball bag. Why? She had a coupon of course.  This was back when they still let turkeys fly coach.

As a little kid, you were probably getting roped into questionable coupon capers against your will. A typical scenario familiar to coupon captive kids involved getting around the LIMIT 1 PER HOUSEHOLD restriction common on many coupons.  Any coupon with the word “LIMIT” on it is just a challenge for money-saving moms.  She checks out with her shopping cart full of groceries, which includes, for example, a 50-cent-off can of coffee. And you would be right behind her with your single can of coffee (decaf, of course, cause what kid drinks regular coffee?) to take advantage of the second coupon.

Didn’t anyone ever wonder how you got there and why you were just buying just one item? Didn’t they see your mom giving you the money to pay for the item?  What kind of household were you running anyway?

With her store coupons in hand, in a grocery far, far away, what are the chances your mother would run into your friend’s mother and thank her for having you sleep over? Guess. And what are the chances you get grounded? 100%.

You don’t mess around with slim.